Memory lapse

After I publish a blog post I don’t normally re read it. I’ve spent all the time I’m willing to spend on it putting all my business out there. Reading it again would just make me question myself and whether I really should have written something for the world (ok, like maybe 20 people) to see.

Last night though I decided I would read everything I’ve posted lately because something I was writing about seemed vaguely familiar. Sure enough, in the third post I read, there it was.

Curiously I read the rest of the posts and after I was done I was like “Hey self, that was some pretty good advice. Why am I not following it?”

The only explanation I can come up with is that since I don’t re read my posts after I publish them maybe they aren’t sticking when I give myself solid advice. Another reason may be that I’ve been so numb lately I can barely remember whether or not I’ve already shampooed my hair in the shower.

That may seem a little scary to some of you, but I promise if you are one of those people who depend on me for certain responsibilities there is no need to worry. I’m a completely functional depressed, hormonally “sane,” woman. Honest.

I am human after all. I think we as a society buy into this belief that we are all supposed to be so perfectly happy that we feel like we have to hide our bad days and fake our way through life. Well, life just ain’t like that so-ci-e-ty (Nana-nana-boo-boo voice, of course). Stuff happens. And even when stuff isn’t happening sometimes it’s just hard to be happy.

That doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or can’t take care of my responsibilities. It just means I’m sad. That’s all. I don’t have the plague despite the fact that people all over Facebook appear to have caught the blues too. Treat me as you would any other sad person.

However, I am going to start taking some of my good advice and get over this funk I keep falling back into. What was it again?

Oh yeah, Get over it!

So, I just wanted to let everyone know, all 20 of you, that I’m going on record that this will be my last post on this issue. I need to pull my self out of the mud and start looking at the world and my life with rose colored glasses.

Yes, it will still be hard and I will still have bad days (and also not much to write about) but wallowing in my sadness is not going to make it any better. I have good friends and family who care about me and want to help me and that is all I can ask for.

Well, that, and maybe some better pills.