Thursday and 10 days to go

Well last night was no fun. Josh and I rotate days on when he gets up with Delores at night. We just started doing this recently because I started thinking that "I'm not going to be able to do this with 2 kids." So the days that he isn't on call, minus the day after he gets off call, he is on night duty. It equals out to about 7 days on for him and 8 days on for me during a 2 week period. We have done this 3 times, so 6 weeks, and it has been horrible every time he goes on. She just assumes I'm gonna be the one to come in and rescue her in the middle of the night and when it isn't me she throws a fit. So last night she got up close to around 10:00 and josh went and laid her down. She cried a little and went back to sleep. At 4:00 she knew what was coming and it did not make her happy. Josh went in, tried to lay her down, and she screamed bloody murder. He went to make a bottle and I got up to see what time it was. When I saw it was 4 I thought maybe I'll just go in and she'll be calmed by me. Well she didn't want to let me go. When I tried to lay her down she just screamed harder. So Josh brought me a bottle and I gave it to her, laid her down, and tried to go back to sleep. After about an hour, and just when I was about to doze off again, she started screaming again. This time we just ignored her. She cried I guess for about 20 minutes then finally went to sleep. Poor josh had to get up for the day and I went back to sleep for about 2 hours. It is so frustrating because I know I can't get up with her when we have the new baby. I will be breastfeeding and it will be every two hours for the first month or so. Delores won't cooperate for josh and I can't sleep through her cries even if I'm in another room with the door shut. I told Josh last night "what did I get myself into?" Because seriously I feel like I am never gonna sleep again. Today I'm gonna throw all of her pacis in her crib and hope she can take care of herself during the night.

Yesterday, was very tiring. For some reason Delores just wore me out. Nothing was different about our day. I just don't have to energy to keep up with her anymore I guess.

Today I have a chiropractor appointment at 10:45. It has been about 2 weeks since I went last and I am really looking forward to it. I feel so much better after the appointment. I just love to have all my bones popped and put back in place.

The rest of the day will be pretty ordinary I guess. Andrea, Josh's sister, will be coming to watch Delores during my appointment, and probably staying until her second nap. So I'll have some company today. I start to feel really negative towards the end of the week because I am so tired of doing to same old thing. Day in and day out with Delores. I don't normally have outside adult contact and I don't get to go anywhere during the week. So by friday I am stir crazy, ready to get out of the house, and ready for some adult conversion. I'll be honest, I don't get kids, and before I had one, was not good with them. I do feel like a career mom and not a stay at home mom, so not being able to work for this long plus longer after the birth, has really taken it out of me. But I am trying to stay positive and just keep saying that it is almost over and in about 3 months I will be able to get a job (hopefully, if I can find a job). It will go by fast once the baby gets here. Right now I'm just in a rut. I hope just 10 more days to go now!

Have a great Thursday!