Well last night was no fun. Josh and I rotate days on when he gets up with Delores at night. We just started doing this recently because I started thinking that "I'm not going to be able to do this with 2 kids." So the days that he isn't on call, minus the day after he gets off call, he is on night duty. It equals out to about 7 days on for him and 8 days on for me during a 2 week period. We have done this 3 times, so 6 weeks, and it has been horrible every time he goes on. She just assumes I'm gonna be the one to come in and rescue her in the middle of the night and when it isn't me she throws a fit. So last night she got up close to around 10:00 and josh went and laid her down. She cried a little and went back to sleep. At 4:00 she knew what was coming and it did not make her happy. Josh went in, tried to lay her down, and she screamed bloody murder. He went to make a bottle and I got up to see what time it was. When I saw it was 4 I thought maybe I'll just go in and she'll be calmed by me. Well she didn't want to let me go. When I tried to lay her down she just screamed harder. So Josh brought me a bottle and I gave it to her, laid her down, and tried to go back to sleep. After about an hour, and just when I was about to doze off again, she started screaming again. This time we just ignored her. She cried I guess for about 20 minutes then finally went to sleep. Poor josh had to get up for the day and I went back to sleep for about 2 hours. It is so frustrating because I know I can't get up with her when we have the new baby. I will be breastfeeding and it will be every two hours for the first month or so. Delores won't cooperate for josh and I can't sleep through her cries even if I'm in another room with the door shut. I told Josh last night "what did I get myself into?" Because seriously I feel like I am never gonna sleep again. Today I'm gonna throw all of her pacis in her crib and hope she can take care of herself during the night.
Yesterday, was very tiring. For some reason Delores just wore me out. Nothing was different about our day. I just don't have to energy to keep up with her anymore I guess.
Today I have a chiropractor appointment at 10:45. It has been about 2 weeks since I went last and I am really looking forward to it. I feel so much better after the appointment. I just love to have all my bones popped and put back in place.
The rest of the day will be pretty ordinary I guess. Andrea, Josh's sister, will be coming to watch Delores during my appointment, and probably staying until her second nap. So I'll have some company today. I start to feel really negative towards the end of the week because I am so tired of doing to same old thing. Day in and day out with Delores. I don't normally have outside adult contact and I don't get to go anywhere during the week. So by friday I am stir crazy, ready to get out of the house, and ready for some adult conversion. I'll be honest, I don't get kids, and before I had one, was not good with them. I do feel like a career mom and not a stay at home mom, so not being able to work for this long plus longer after the birth, has really taken it out of me. But I am trying to stay positive and just keep saying that it is almost over and in about 3 months I will be able to get a job (hopefully, if I can find a job). It will go by fast once the baby gets here. Right now I'm just in a rut. I hope just 10 more days to go now!
Have a great Thursday!
I almost laughed when you said that you were going to throw all of the paci's in the crib and see what happens. I know you are frustrated so it's not funny...not even a little...if i was not having a baby myself so soon i would say i could come help so you could nap...I'm really sorry you are having such a hard time and I know you are at your wits end...especially when you are having another one in just a few short weeks!! Keep your chin up..you are a great mom, and as much as it hurts to see her cry, it really won't hurt her...i can say that all day long to you and it breaks my heart still when Riley does not want me to let go when he goes to bed...if you need to talk, i'm available. :) Katie
ReplyDeleteand i know it will be hard for either of us, at first, with all the medications and not being able to drive...but while both of us are not working, i'd love to get together with you and all of our babies...it might be a zoo lol but at least we could have some girl time.
ReplyDeleteI know. the though of her holding a bunch of paci's in her hand and one in her mouth makes me laugh too. Yeah i don't know what to do about it. I just keep brushing it off as a phase and hopefully she will stop being so attached to me when the other baby gets here and she learns she has to share me. either that or it will get worse bc she is having to share me. lol. Thank you for your support and I would like for us to talk more and get together me and be closer friends. I know we probably have a lot more in common than we think we do. How long are you going to take off work? If I remember correctly I will be on a no driving rule for two weeks and I won't be taking any medications. It will be nice to have some girl time.
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