I Don't do Valentine's day

When Josh and I first married we bought into the idea that Valentine’s Day had to be special. The one day a year that was designated to show those special people in your life how much they mean to you. It seemed like a great idea. You could be as gushy and romantic as you wanted with the perfect excuse. 

Then we had kids. Finding the time to celebrate this special day became more and more difficult because places were always packed out the day of or the weekend of and finding a baby sitter who didn’t already have plans was a real pain.

As the years went by Valentine’s Day became more and more stressful and less and less romantic and meaningful. When our relationship was at it’s lowest point Valentine’s day seemed so forced neither one of us enjoyed it and we were going through the motions more than we were showing the other person how much we loved and cared for them.

But as our relationship took a turn for the better and continued to grow we realized that it was important to take the time to be romantic and attentive everyday. Little things we do for each other shows the other person how appreciated and valuable they are to our lives. Doing something big together or for the other person every once in a while, maybe once a month, really has helped to keep the fire burning in our relationship.

Truthfully, I had almost forgot about the big V-day because Lydia’s birthday is just 3 days after. Then we came to the ladies’ lessons this week based on February holidays and I was forced to think about what I was going to do for the ladies and Josh on that seemingly very important day of the year.

I thought about our past years of Valentine’s celebrations, the good and the bad, and I decided that I don’t really care about Valentine’s Day at all. The pressure to perform one day a year and do something grand is just not something I’m willing to concern myself with. 

Also, if you know me at all, you probably know that I don’t like to do anything anyone tells me I have to do. Except for God. Society, the calendar, even the ladies lessons, all encourage this dramatic show of love and affection this one day a year, but I really just don’t want to do it. 

My family knows I love them because I show them everyday. Do I really want to somehow make them think that I am withholding any love from them every other day of the year when I go above and beyond one day out of the year? 

I want to encourage my husband and my children to show their love and appreciation for the people they love whenever the mood strikes them. And I want to encourage them to do it often. Not just wait for one day of the year to do special things for the special people in their lives.

If you think I’m being a little dramatic about this and think that celebrating one lovey dovey holiday a year can’t possibly interfere my husband and kids actions to show their love every other day of the year all you need to do is talk to my husband. He became the spokesperson for this theory early in our relationship. He would withhold love and affection and showing how much he cared for me until holidays came so that those special days of the year would be big and dramatic.  That might be okay for some people, but that’s not okay with me. 

I needed all his attention, affection and appreciation whenever he is near me everyday of the year (with the exception of the attention he gives to the Lewis Ladies of course). If I could have that I would willingly give up those special holidays. That is where we are now. He has learned how to meet my needs and speak my love language. I am happy. What do I need a holiday for? I celebrate our love everyday. 

I hope that your Valentines’ Day is great if you choose to participate, but if it isn’t for whatever reason, I encourage you to think about my philosophy. Start showing everyone you love how much you love them everyday by doing little special things for them that you would normally save for a special occasion and you will begin to receive it in return.

Love and the act of showing love are contagious. And if you think you might be one of those people who doesn’t have anyone to love in order to be shown love in return, remember there is a God in heaven that loves you more than you can ever imagine. Show him your appreciation and love and he will reward you. 

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back. (Luke 6:38, NLT)”

So Happy Friday to you all and may your lives be filled with affectionate love and appreciation EVERYDAY!