Sickly Sunday

Today is Sunday and I wish I were going to church, but with a sickly Delores and a borderline sickly Lydia, it just wouldn't be a good idea.

So yesterday went pretty well. Lydia didn't seem too sick. She never ran a fever, she coughed a little, and I heard a little mucus, but I never got any out and she didn't seem like she was uncomfortable, so I didn't bother calling our quack of a doctor. Delores seemed like she was doing better too. She took a good nap, she didn't seem as congested, and she ate pretty good.

After Josh's mom and sister picked up Delores I got to work on my shopping. It was a little frustrating because the crib I was going to get was out of stock and the bedding, hamper, and mobile were out of stock. So I had to track down all the stuff from another website and pick out a different crib. After about an hour of looking I finally got everything ordered except for the mobile and the hamper. No one had it in stock. So the next two weeks should be pretty crazy with all the boxes on my front stoop. Josh got home right about then and he was able to hang out all day. It was very nice. After I motivated us to get up and stop being lazy we organized the house a little, and then it was time for Delores to come home. When Delores got home we put her to bed, ate dinner and then Josh got called out. He didn't have to be gone long so we were back in cuddle town in no time.

I never got the breast pumping down. =( I tried single pumping with a soft shield, that caused a loss in suction. I tried double with one soft shield (since I only have one) and that fixed the suction problem, but then I couldn't get hardly any milk. So I guess I'm going to have to buy another soft shield and try that. I went back to my single pump and surprisingly did not have the results like I was having. It kind of irritated me. I don't want to waste my time on one ounce of milk. Up until yesterday I was getting at least 3 ounces off one side at a time. So I was filling up a bottle in two feedings. Two bottles a day. Twelve ounces total a day. So I will try again today. That's the thing about breastfeeding. You have to be very dedicated to it and it takes hard work, but it is very worth it. I hated that I had to stop breast feeding Delores, but when it's not there to give then what else can you do?

Today I have no plans except for trying to keep my sanity. I'm still watching Lydia closely and drinking Theraflu, but so far so good. I can't say the same about Josh. He snored loudly all night and sounded very congested so he may have caught what Delores had, but we will see when he gets up.

Have a great Sunday!

lazy Saturday

Good morning! Today is Saturday and I am ready to get this day started. I think. Lol.

Yesterday was pretty wild. Delores is still sick and she wore me out. Even though my mom was there I still over did it. Delores wanted to be picked up a lot and I couldn't turn her down because she was sick and I didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was. She wouldn't take good naps either so I didn't really get a break from taking care of her. Lydia had a rough day too. She had a hard time falling asleep for naps. Probably because I couldn't rock her and relax with her like I have been and she was snacking to fall asleep, so it felt like I nursed her all day.

Delores did something very cute though. Lydia was crying and Delores was trying to peak in the swing to see her and when I picked her up she started to throw a fit. Mom suggested she take Lydia and I take Delores because she may have been getting jealous so I did and Delores threw another fit and pointed at Lydia. So mom handed Lydia to me and Delores reached her arms out like she was going to take Lydia. So I got real close to Delores and she just hugged her and laid her head on Lydia's back and patted her head and back. It was so cute. She just kept hugging her for about 5 minutes. It melted my heart.

After I put sickly Delores to bed Lydia got up to eat from a long nap and she started coughing and sounded congested in her nose. It freaked me out a little but I thought maybe she just sucked some dust in and she was just trying to get it out. Then when I went to feed and burp her she started gagging because of the mucus in the back of her throat. Well then I really started freaking out. I called Josh (who is on call this weekend) to tell him and ask what I should do. He told me to call Amy, so I did and she said just to watch her closely till tomorrow morning (this morning) and if it got worse to call our family doctor to come in and see her. She asked me if he had swab Delores for flu or rsv or anything and when I told her "no," she was pretty appauled. Especially because there was a newborn in the house. I hate our family doctor. I always have, but this just takes the cake. I have spent months trying to find a new pediatrition that would take our insurance and I have finally found one, but until I get Delores plans switched I am stuck with Dr. Stafford.

So today I just going to watch her closely and drink Theraflu so she will get a little in my breastmilk and just try to relax. Josh's parent are looking after Delores today so I wont be so stressed out with Josh being on call. I'm also going to try to buy some stuff for Lydia's nursery today. I'm just going to try to be as lazy as possible.

No Josh = scarey day

Today is the first day without Josh home. Eek! My mom is coming to help, but there is nothing like the other parent's help.

I loved having Josh here with me. I really forgot how much I loved just spending time with him. We hardly get to see each other and he works every other weekend, so when we are together we are usually running errands and getting things done around the house. Even when we have special dinner dates or something we still talk about things we have to do because we haven't had enough time to wind down from our lives to just enjoy each other. He is so great. He helped out around the house and with the babies and spoiled Delores (in a good way) and she is going to be so mad when she gets up and he is not here. Just everyday things he surprised me with. When he doesn't have to work he is like a different person. He tried new food (something I struggle to get him to do) on his own, he and Delores picked me flowers, he read almost every blog post, he was so attentive and comforting. It was awesome. Sigh.

Today is going to be good though. I woke up in a good mood ready to start my day with confidence that I can do this and not loose my mind. We had a good night last night. We didn't have to go in to get Delores one time. Lydia went about 5 hours in between feedings, so I got about 4 hours of sleep at a time. It was the best sleep I've gotten since Lydia has been home. Oh and she was one week old yesterday. But anyway, Delores is still sick, but she started her antibiotic yesterday so maybe she'll feel a little better and won't be so rough on me. I still technically not suppose to do any housework, but I probably will anyway if I have time. I feel like I can work the girls schedules out around each other and I won't be pulled in different directions too often. The only thing I'm concerned about is pumping breast milk. I just got a double pump and I haven't figure out how I'm going to be hands free to pump yet, but I'll get it down. Hopefully. Lol. If I don't I can go to using my single pump, but I really want to get it down for Josh's sake because he hates buying things that I end up not being able to use. It would bother me too, but as long as I get the breast milk out then I'm happy.

Well Delores is calling so off I go to start the day.

short and sweet

Well I haven't gotten a schedule down for myself or for the girls yet so I am writing this at night. The negative hour of the day. Dun, dun, dun. Lol.

Anyway, Lydia's check up went get. She only lost 2 ounces from her birth weight so she was 8 pounds, 2 ounces. Her color is good, she is eating good, and her heal stick only took about 5 minutes because she also bled good.

And this was a saved draft and I don't remember what else I wanted to say. Lol

A mother of two...what did I get myself into?

So it has been 5 whole nights and 4 whole days since we had Lydia and I have enjoyed very moment I've had with her. I love newborns. They are so sweet and peaceful and all they do is eat and sleep and poop. Lol. I understand now why I got pregnant so quickly after Delores was born. I look at Lydia and I never want her to grow out of this stage. You just want to sit and stare at her for hours and it kind of makes me sad to know this period of time is very short and it will be a while before I will get to experience this again. I have warned Josh though that no matter how sad I am that our baby is growing up, do not let me get pregnant again. Lol. At least for a few more years anyway.

Delores's introduction went pretty well. She was napping when we got home and we put Lydia in the bouncey seat in the pack n play while she was still napping. When she got up we spent some time with her and she was so happy to see us. She cuddled with us a good bit and then after almost an hour we thought it would be a good idea to make their introduction. Below is a video of the first time they met.
WARNING: this video is 9 mins long. It may become boring but it is a once in a lifetime event for us.

Lydia has been a pretty easy going baby so far. I wasn't expecting anything but to feed, feed, feed until my breastmilk came in. So she has been going about three hours or more in between feedings during the day and every two hours at night. You could say, so far, she kind of has her nights and days mixed up. My milk came in yesterday and it was a little rougher than I imagined it would be. She is kind of a lazy eater. I've been having to change her diaper in between breasts because she falls asleep and wakes about 20 mins later still hungry. Well yesterday she started wanting to be fed for hours at a time. She would fall asleep, I'd lay her down, 10 mins later she would cry to be fed again. I probably breastfed her from 1:30-2:30 and then I just made her stop so we could grab a bite to eat. She still cried in the backseat like she was hungry. Then she ate good around 4:00 and then she ate again at 7:00. When it was time for her to eat again at 10, she did not want to stop. I fed her off and on until 1:30 in the morning. I tried giving her a paci, holding her, rocking her, Josh tried holding her and putting her in the bouncey seat with the vibrating thing on, nothing was working. She would get quiet for a little while and then start crying again. That is the most frustrating thing about being a mother to a newborn. Sometimes they cry and you think "You been fed (plenty), you've been changed, you aren't hot or cold, you've been given gas drops, nothing is poking you anywhere. What else could possibly be wrong?," and they don't answer back. They just keep crying until you are crying yourself.  We finally fell asleep around 2:00. Then she got up at 2:30 to eat. Again. This time she went back to sleep, but Delores got up at 5:00 wanting a bottle. So we were up again. Then we went back to sleep and Lydia went until 7:00 before she wanted to eat again. So I got up at 7:00 and am catching up on my blog, obviously.

Today, I hope will be better. We have Lydia's newborn screening with Amy today where she will weigh her and prick her heal and all that fun stuff. I am going to try to keep Lydia on a 3 hour feeding schedule also and see if that helps with her marathon feeding sessions. Also I am not going to pump today. Yesterday I tried to pump after feedings and I don't know if that had anything to do with her not eating well, but I am not going to take any chances. Even though my boobs feel like they are going to explode.

Mentally I am still nervous about the idea being left alone with two babies and I have had my "Ahhhh!!," moments, but Josh has been very helpful and I am just living in the moment until I have to be faced with the act of being a SAHM of two. Lydia is starting to be a little more predictable during the day also so maybe by the time Josh goes back to work on Friday I will have a little better idea of how to take care of them both. I may also start taking my antidepressant again before Josh goes back so I can get use to it and not be all spaced out. I don't really want to, but I don't want to freak out on the first day Josh is gone and just break down. I don't know. I still haven't decided. I may talk to Amy about it today. In the mean time, if any mommies with multiple children want to give me some sample schedules of their days it would be much appreciated.

Well Lydia is calling. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

She is here!...Birth story

Lydia Beatrice Lewis was born Thursday, February 17th, 2011 at 10:17 PM weighing in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and is 20 and quarter inches long.

Thursday last week everything started as normal. I got up, did my blog, my mom came over early, we played with Delores and I went off to my 40 week 4 day appointment with my midwife. I got there and had to wait a little while, but when she took me back she asked me almost immediately if I wanted to be check and have my membranes stripped. It kind of took me by surprise because having my membranes stripped was not something that I had even considered or even knew that she did. I hadn't done research on it. I didn't know what it entailed and frankly it kind of scared me. I believe birth should be a completely natural process based on the fact that God equipped women to bear children and anything that comes between that is just not natural to me. I couldn't decide if having my membranes stripped was coming in between natural birth. After talking to Josh we decided to go ahead and do it. That was around 4:00. I drove home and started noticing some cramping. I got home around 4:45 and started making Delores's dinner. By 5:00 I was having contractions. I timed them for about 30 mins and they were 2 mins about about 30 seconds long a piece. I texted Josh to come home ASAP and he call his parents to come sit with Delores. My mom was still there so she helped me with Delores because my contractions were getting intense fast. Josh got home and we finished packing our bag. We put Delores to bed and then we were gone. We were going to stop and grab a bite to eat before we got there because I hadn't eaten anything since lunch and I knew I was going to need it for energy, but I was so uncomfortable I just wanted to get there. I had my mom pick us up something on the way there.

When I got there around 7:00 she checked me and I was 6 cm. This did not make me happy. I made it to 8 at home with Delores and this time I felt like I was further along. So she sat me on the birthing ball for about an hour and checked me again. I think I was around 8, although she never really said. I was so tired so I tried to get in bed but that didn't work. It made the contractions so intense that I felt like I was going to throw up. I went back and forth from the edge of the bed, to the ball, to the bathroom until I started moaning to get through the contractions and then she got me in the tub. At this point I had no idea how much time had passed or what time it was. The tub made me a little more comfortable till I started getting the shakes and it was time to push. Nothing can make you comfortable at 10 cm. So at 10:00 I started to push. I was making good progress but it hurt so much worse than Delores did. This time I actually had to scream. Last time I was just able to hold my breath and push through it, but it hurt so bad I wanted to cry this time. Josh's poor mom had to go outside to pray because she just couldn't listen to me go through it. When she started to crown I started feeling nauseous during each push. When the head came through I said I was going to throw up and had to dry heave through getting her head the rest of the way out. When it was all the way out I had no feeling of relief because I still felt like dry heaving so I just took a deep breath and pushed her on out. She was born at 10:17 PM.

I felt ten times better obviously after she was out and laying on my chest. She didn't really want to cry good, but she kept going. Her head was covered in dark thick hair and thick vermix and I just kept looking at her waiting for some emotion to hit. But nothing really did. I just smiled and talked to her and then Amy cut the cord and handed her to Josh armed with a warm towel from the dryer. Then Amy cleaned me up, delivered the placenta, and got me to the bed. I was still shivering so I stayed under the covers while she checked her heart and breathing and took her footprints and all that. Then it was time to breastfeed. I breastfeed her for about an hour and then Amy dressed her and handed her off to Josh to show her to the family while I relaxed. He announced her name, Lydia Beatrice, and everyone liked it (or at least they pretended too, lol). Then I was ready for bed. My brother and dad made a late visit at 12:30 for a split second and then we all went to bed around 1:00.

Beginning to end, labor took 5 hours 17 mins. It was so much more intense this time around and if I had to do it all over again I would not have my membranes stripped. To me the labor was too fast. I need a little time to adjust to each pain and work through it. I think this just kick started it too quickly and I couldn't mentally work through the pain. There were actually times this time when I said "I don't know if I can do this," but of course they reassured me I could, and that I was, and that in a little while I would be holding my new baby and it would all be worth it. It wasn't going to last forever and before I knew it she was there. I will say one thing, I am not having another baby for a while. Lol.

4 days overdue

Okay, so I'm 4 days overdue. I can live with that. Lol. Anyone know what the stages of grief are? Have I hit them all yet? Lol.

Yesterday I started off pretty depressed even though I tried to be upbeat. My insensitive father sent me a text message yesterday morning (like he does almost everyday) with just one word "Today?" Well if I knew when I was going pop this baby out I'd probably be a millionaire because I would've figured out how to predict one of the great mysteries of life. I sent him one back saying "I don't know I don't have a timer." I just started crying. There is all this pressure on me to have this baby and I have no control over it, but people act like I do.  Anyway, after I balled like a baby to Josh over the phone and expressed how it just wasn't funny, I got up and got over it. I went in to get Delores up and she made me smile. I realized that soon she was not going to be my only child and I needed to take this time not as a disappointment that I don't have two children yet, but as a privilege that I get these few extra days to enjoy my daughter as an only child. So that really changed my day.

Everything else was pretty normal. Delores spend some time outside because the weather has been so nice lately and she enjoyed that. I actually did some housework to make the day go a little quicker. I put up some laundry that had piled up on top of the dryer and did some diaper laundry. I tried to do some dishes but I just couldn't bend down that much or even really reach the sink that well. I also made dinner. Josh got home about 30 minutes early last night which we all enjoyed because he got to see a messy Delores finish her dinner and then he got to play with her for a while. We went outside and they "chased," each other around the yard (as well as a toddler can chase on uneven ground). Then we did bath and bed and Josh had to make a run to the grocery store.  I just went last week, but I bought things in anticipation that we would have the baby already and Josh would be here and we would cook and freeze meals together. Well she is not here and Josh is still taking his lunch instead of eating at home so we ran out the things I didn't bother to get. After he got back we sat and ate ice cream out of the carton together and talked and then we went to bed.

Josh had baby monitor duty last night and I only had to tell him to get up once, but he told me this morning he did only get up that one time. Lol. He's so funny.

Today I have my 40 week 4 day appointment with my midwife and I'm not sure what to expect because I didn't go over last time so I don't know if we'll talk about induction or do a cervical exam or what. My mom is coming to watch Delores and she mentioned something about taking her to the park. That should be fun. I don't really care as long as I get out of the house. I hate being cooped up in the house. I've mentioned also that I'm not really made to be a SAHM either so the combination of the two usually sends me nuts by this time of the week, but I think I've talked about that before.

Two more days until the weekend and I get to spend some time with Josh! Have a great Thursday! Oh and Happy Birthday to my wonderful father-in-law!

3 days overdue.

Ugh! Lol. I am trying to not think about the fact that she is still in there, but of course that is all I can think about. I know I posted that I kind of like being overdue but I change my mind. I must have just been having a good Monday or something cause yesterday was the complete opposite.

Starting with Delores's nap and my shower I started feeling very nauseous and hot and I had to go lay down for a little while. I had to force myself to get up and I opened the front door to let some cold air in until the heat kicked on cause I didn't want to freeze or burn up Delores. I text ed Andrea, Josh's sister, to come and help me cause obviously I was not going to be able to go full force with Delores if I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out. I also was still having weird pains, so I just felt like I couldn't do it. I made Delores's lunch and got that all ready so she didn't have to worry about that and then when she got there I went and laid down. I tried timing my pains, but they were all over the place, and somewhere after 1:30 I dozed off. I only slept for about 30 minutes and then I got up because I was stiff from laying in the bed. I wasn't very nauseous anymore so I got up to play with Delores and get her dinner made. I was still having pains but I got through it. Andrea stayed until Josh got home from work and then we did bed time and I went and laid back down in the bed. We had dinner in bed and Josh decided we needed to make some type of pregnancy dinner tray that would allow pregnant women to lay down on their side and eat with some type of Velcro attachment for bowls. I don't know, he is always thinking, but he was really just trying to make me smile. I went to bed after "Sex and the City," went off and that was the gist of my day.

Last night Delores got up and wanted a bottle around 11:00. It's odd that she would want one the early in the night, but she did. I think she is programed to get 3 bottles a day and yesterday, because she had lunch late, she only got 2 so she wanted that one in the middle of the night instead of early in the morning.

Today I have no idea what is going to happen. I assume we will just go on with our normal day and I will try not to think about this pregnancy because it is starting to make me depressed.

Sorry these posts lately haven't been very interesting, but I just have no inspiration right now. All I can think about obviously is being in labor. I know my creativity will spark back up after the baby is born, although it might take me a while to get on a schedule so I can blog.

Well, have a good Wednesday everyone!

2 days overdue

Morning. Well we are still waiting. I had some interesting pains yesterday, but they went away about lunch time and nothing else happened after that.

Yesterday was pretty good. I put Delores in a cute Valentine's day outfit and put a bow in her hair that she kept in long enough just to get a picture. She was a live wire yesterday, but she was fun. I made Valentine's day cookies for my lovelies. It was my first attempt to make cookies, and I made them out of a box, so they didn't turn out like I had hoped. But they served their purpose. I decorated them and Josh thought it was very sweet that I was able to surprise him with something when we decided we would do Valentine's day.

My mom came by and gave Delores a little beanie baby Valentine dog that she really liked. As soon as she saw it she barked at it. Lol, so funny. She got two cards too and a little money for her piggy bank. She gave Josh and I a very sweet and heartfelt card too that we opened together when Josh got home around 7:30.

Poor Josh. Yesterday they laid off a guy, which put him on call on Monday nights by himself. This meant that any call they got at all last night he had to run. He ran hard until around 12:00 and then thankfully he didn't get anymore calls. He is still exhausted this morning because he ran non stop all day yesterday to make up for the one less person to share the load. Crazy.

Today, should be an ordinary day. I have no appointments. My brother may stop by to use my computer to fill out an application, but I have no other visitors planned today. I have noticed that I think I like being overdue a little. I wake up disappointed, but as the day goes on I become more optimistic and have more energy and excitement to carry me through the day. Yes I would like to get this over with and have our baby, but it is nice knowing that we are so close and it could really be any day. My estimate all along has been the 16th. Based on my last missed period and not my conception date (which was the 13th), so we will see. Maybe tonight or tomorrow. My ultrasounds dated the 18th so we could go to Friday and it would be fine. But then I could go over those due dates. Lol, you just never know. But everyday that passes I know I am one day closer.

Well I gotta get Delores up. She got up about an hour early today, but she's in her bed talking away. Her patience is wearing thin. Have a good Tuesday!

1 day overdue.

Morning! Happy Valentine's day all you love birds! Well, we still don't have a baby yet. I am a little discouraged, but I am hanging in there. I just hope she's okay in there and that she isn't gonna hit a huge growth spurt right before she's born and be a 9 pounder, but if she is. There really is nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to push her on out and get over it.

Yesterday was pretty good. We went to church and it was a good message. All though I can't really remember much of it because I was distracted by an annoyingly loud off-beat clapper in the pew in front of us. I understand, she couldn't help it, but she was so loud. My ears actually hurt from her clapping. It just set the wrong tone for the whole service. I did the best I could to pay attention and learn but I couldn't stop staring at her wondering "why?" Oh well. After that we did lunch at Mutts. It was good, but Delores was restless and needed a nap, so as soon as we were done eating I left and brought her home for a nap. She slept till 3:15 and woke up in a very bad mood. That molar is really giving her problems. She just cried for 30 mins in my arms. Poor girl. She was still pretty weepy so we came in the living room and watched Baby Einstein. That cheered her up a little and we played for a while. Then it was dinner time and bedtime, and just like that, the day was over.

She did the cutest thing yesterday though. She got a hold of Josh's (hideous) necklace (I wish he would get rid of that thing, lol) and wore it around and wouldn't take it off until she was in the nursery at church. It was really cute. At one point she was also carrying around Josh's phone and she looked like a little teenager; Texting with her glamor necklace on, too busy to give us the time of day. Lol, adorable. I've been thinking of posting another blog to the babies to tell them what cute things they did during the day. I hate that one day I will forget all the adorable things they do everyday and never be able to let them know. We will see. It isn't like I have a whole lot of time to do it, but I could try. We will see.

Oh I also realized another annoying thing about pregnancy yesterday. Like when people say "wow you're huge," or "you look like you are about to pop." It's "you haven't had that baby yet?" Umm do you see a baby? I know that's mean, but I'm frustrated and disappointed she's not here yet, so why joke about that?

Anyway, Josh and I got to spend a good bit of time together yesterday. He got to go to church and lunch and then he had a call. He came home when Delores was sleeping and had to go again before she got up. He got home for dinner and didn't get called out again until 11:00 PM I think. We got to spend some good time together. I was very thankful for that. He is still on call tonight, but tomorrow things will go back to "normal."

Today should be a pretty normal day. We already did our Valentine's day so we don't have any plans. We are also not exchanging gifts. Mainly because I can't think of anything to get Josh and we are short on cash right now. I am going to try to make cookies for Delores and Josh today if I have time. Just as a little something, but that will be it. I've mentioned before that I don't cook when Josh is on call because he normally isn't here to eat it, so it will be left overs and cookies tonight. One highlight of today is that the new Disney Junior aired today, so Delores and I will have new shows and stuff to watch. Lol, that's when you know you are a mom; when the highlight of your day is the airing of a new kids shows.

Have a good Monday everyone! Send waves of birth encouragement my way.

Due date!!

Good morning! I half expected to not be writing this blog this morning because Delores's labor started at 2:30 AM, so i thought maybe this would be the same way. But every pregnancy is different. I still have 16 hours to go into labor and get this baby out. lol. Very unlikely, but you never know.

Last night was pretty decent. Delores was finding her own paci last night and putting herself back to sleep. I just had to be a little patient and hope that she didn't become fully awake instead of finding it and going back to sleep. She did pretty good though. I had to go in around 1:30 and give her a bottle, but I figured I would have to since she went to her grandparents house yesterday and she doesn't really eat well over there. But after that she slept pretty good. I think Josh got called out once right after that, but it was close by and he was back before I had fallen back asleep. So all in all not a bad night.

As mentioned before, Delores went to her Mimi and Poppy's house yesterday (Josh's parents) and I'm sure she had a blast. They also just got a crib for their house, which I love them for, but of course my particular little lady wouldn't take a nap. All I care is that they gave her a chance though. One of these days she'll get use to the idea and fall asleep and then everything will be okay. It would have been nice if we were able to train her to sleep outside of her crib at home from the very beginning, but the importance of a crib went unnoticed for them until just now. No comment on that. All I can say is that the fact the have one now makes me a very happy mom with one less thing to stress about. After she came home I went ahead and fed her diner again because they said she just wasn't interested at their house. She ate pretty good and then we did a quick bedtime and put her to bed.

Yesterday, after they came and picked her up, I met Josh for lunch and then came back home and took a nap. Or at least I think I took a nap. All i remember is laying there trying to go to sleep with the covers pulled up over my head trying to block out the light and then just being awake. I didn't feel like I slept but the clock said it was about an hour later than the last time, so I guess I did. After that I didn't do much of anything. I piddled around trying to find last minute things to do for the baby. I did diaper laundry for Delores. I stashed some burps cloths and changing pad covers under the top level of the pack n play and did some online "window," shopping. Josh came home and we were able to spend some time together because he didn't get another call until that one at 2:00 AM. That was nice. He brought me ice cream and a Dr. Pepper from McDonalds so I could make my own float. That was nice too. It was a pretty lazy day. After Delores went to bed we just sat and talked for over two hours with no TV about all sorts of things. We never get to do that. Then after that we went to bed. It was a pretty nice day.

Last night I thought I was entering into labor pains because I was having menstrual like cramps in the right side of my lower abdomen and back but after about an hour they went away. So no baby obviously. I've been having all sorts of different kinds of BH contractions and pains for weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll have no idea when I enter into real labor because I'll probably just think "Oh there is another weird pain that will probably go away in a while." Then bam! I'll be in full blown labor and not have a chance to tell anyone until I'm at the birthing center getting ready to push. This seems silly to some people, but honestly, even though I labored for 17 hours with Delores, I worked through the pain and didn't think it was that bad until we got to the birthing center and I was 8 cm dilated. I got changed and got in the tub and within 2 hours maybe she was here. I only pushed for about 15 minutes. It is likely I'll just ignore the pain up to the point I can't take it anymore and then the same thing will happen. We will see though. At this point I'm think she is just gonna hang out in there till she's 18 then pop out and be like "Okay mom, it's been nice. Now I'm off to college." lol

Today we are just doing the usual Sunday thing. Church, lunch, relax. That is if nothing else extraordinary comes up. lol. Well Delores has been talking to herself for a good 15 minutes so I better go get her up and ready and then get Josh up so I can get ready for church. Have a good sunday!

1 more day!!

Well here we are at Saturday and the anticipation of this baby coming is about to kill me. I've started to find myself saying "She's never going to come." That's the way I cope with things. Think the worst so I'm pleasantly surprised when they go good. I remember thinking that way with Delores 2 weeks before she came and of course she came right on her due date at 7:35 PM. I think I've done pretty good on getting discouraged this time around and just started having these thoughts 2 days before her due date.

Yesterday was pretty interesting. Pretty ordinary like I expected, but then I started having problems with my phone after Delores got a hold of it and drooled all in the keys. It just went to sleep and wouldn't come back on. I started freaking out like "what if I go into labor? I won't be able to call anyone and I'll have this baby at home, b/c Josh is on call and he probably won't come home tonight." Crazy I know. After about an hour it finally came back on but now my keyboard only half works. Most all the keys work but one or two of them will come up with different letters and the space bar does a space and an @ symbol. I was gonna get an iphone for my birthday in exactly a month, so I guess I'll have to put up with it till then.

Another thing that happened was that a frozen jug of milk decided it would leak all inside my fridge and I noticed it when I was trying to get things ready for Delores's bedtime. Which meant that after a tiring day and doing bedtime I was going to have to clean out my fridge and Josh wasn't going to be there to help me. On top of the fact that my sink was overflowing with dishes because Josh didn't think the dishwasher was full enough to run the night before. So I became faced with all of these extra tasks added to my night when all I wanted to do was eat a quick bite (I don't cook when Josh is on call. Why slave when no one is there to enjoy it?), go lay down, and watch "Sex in the City." Nope, I had to bust my butt and kill my back before I could go lay down and then I was hurting so bad I couldn't get comfortable and then I had to get up with Delores 3 times between 7 and 10 before I finally got to go to sleep.

Last night was rough too. I don't know what is going on with Delores except for maybe she's about to cut another tooth. Until 4 AM she got up every hour on the hour wanting her paci. At 4 I gave her a bottle and I haven't heard a peep out of her since. It is displeasing (i had a teacher who hated the word "sucks," so i try not to use it much now out of habit) that Josh is on call this weekend. I got to thinking after getting up for about the 5th time that if the baby did come tonight (last night) I would be way too exhausted to go through labor and the pushing. I'm the one waiting to go through a marathon and I can't even train for it. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it? Josh didn't even get a call last night so the one who will just be there for support got a good nights sleep. That is frustrating. Being a mom is a tough job and no one knows just how tough each individual mother's job is until they do what she does everyday for, i don't know, maybe a week. I like when people acknowledge the fact that I'm a tough mom, but i hate it when people say they understand. Even if you are a mom, you don't understand. Every child is different and they all present there own difficulties so no one every really knows how tough your job is until they've lived it. Josh hasn't even watched Delores by himself for more than an hour or two, so I hate it when he says "he understands," too. He is a great dad, but he doesn't get it.

Today I hope my in laws will watch Delores for a while so I can get some rest. My nesting will probably get the best of me and I will do some laundry and organizing, but I planned way in advance to have Josh help me get this house clean before the baby comes so I really don't have much else to do. Oh I just realized I dreamed the baby was coming and I was yelling at Josh to just sweep the floors because we had to be ready. lol. The night before I dreamed I was breastfeeding our new baby. Obviously I am ready for her to be here. Maybe tonight. Maybe.

So I hope everyone has a terrific Saturday!

reality of it all...2 days left!

Good Morning! So yesterday I walked around Walmart for an hour and a half and guess what? No baby! Surprise surprise. What I did get was a bunch of pain. By the time we put Delores to bed I was exhausted. If walking did put someone in labor I couldn't imagine having to work through labor for hours after it. That just doesn't make sense.

So anyway yesterday went pretty good. Delores had a huge breakfast because she loves pancakes. I do not give them to her often but she is nuts about them. I gave her one, then a cup of applesauce mixed with 3 teaspoons of plain yogurt, then another pancake, and she ate it all. Not to mention she ate all of that after she had a 6 oz bottle of milk. She trips me out sometimes. I couldn't even eat that much. After that she was pretty lazy and I'm sure her belly probably hurt, so she took a nap. After she got up she didn't have much of an appetite for lunch. I got her to nibble a little bit and then we were off to Walmart. I did take it slow and I got enough food to last us about three weeks, so I won't have to worry about that for a while. It'll put us back on track to going on Josh's weekend off too so I won't have to try to tackle it alone or drag my mom or sister-in-law with me. We came back and Delores had a late nap. She slept till 5 so that threw her bedtime off a little. We ended up laying her down around 7:15 and I guess she went to sleep right away because I didn't hear a peep out of her. We ate dinner in bed and I was having painful BH contractions from all the strenuous activity so I went to bed and I slept pretty good.

Josh came in to tell me goodbye before he left and he said "give me a call when this baby comes today." He's so funny. For some reason he thinks the baby is coming today. Or maybe he just wants her too really badly so he won't have to be on call this weekend. Either way I still think she is coming this weekend. Maybe Saturday night or Sunday morning. It doesn't really feel real to be honest. This whole pregnancy hasn't seemed real despite my obvious growing belly and the ultrasounds and listening to the heartbeat. I guess because I just had Delores and I hadn't really gotten use to the idea that I was a mother and just had a baby before I got pregnant again. And now here we are, 2 days away from my due date! Insane. Well anyway I'm gonna be a mom of two very soon whether I'm ready for it or not and it is gonna be real. AHH!

Today I have no plans. Just another day. To most people it is "TGIF," but when Josh is on call it really just feels like a wednesday or something to me. So I will just go with the flow and try to make it through today the best I can and if anything changes with the pregnancy I will try to keep everyone posted. Have a good Friday!

ill...3 more days

Good morning! Today is Thursday and still no sign of our little one. That's okay though. Delores was born on her due date, a very punctual girl, so maybe this one will too.

Yesterday was interesting. Delores is still teething and she was not in a good mood. She pulled her 30 min nap again yesterday, but her second nap she slept for an hour and a half so I was very happy about that. I wasn't very tired and I kept my cool the best I could up until dinner time when I had to fix her three different things to finally get her to eat. Picky little girl. That is just frustrating because she is very impatient and demanding and getting dinner done while she is awake is very stressful. Last night I was watching teen mom 2 before I went to bed and I realized just how difficult she is. Those moms on there have it so easy and they don't even know it. Even the one with the twins. They are putting on makeup and doing their hair and talking on the phone all while their children are awake and right there with them. I have never made a phone call or attempted to try to put makeup on or do my hair while Delores was awake. She won't allow me to do anything that doesn't involve my complete attention on her. Yesterday she would throw a fit when I told her I was going to the bathroom and she had to walk to come in there with me. God forbid I make the girl use her legs. Sheesh, she is so spoiled. Maybe it's because she's the first for her generation in our family and people won't just put her down and let her act like a normal kid. Well now I'm paying for it cause I have a super clingy child who wants to be carried around every where with a newborn expected to arrive in 3 days who will HAVE to be carried around everywhere. Yay! not. I love how people just do whatever they want to do and don't think about the consequences of their actions on me, josh, and the new baby. They get to have fun and we get what's left.

Okay that's enough for my vent today. Speaking of today, I am going to try to go the the grocery store one last time before this baby gets here. Should be lots of fun. Again, being sarcastic. My mom is going to come help me today so at least I will get some relief. I hope to take me time and not stress myself out, but honestly it's Walmart and I'm gonna have to take Delores with me, and, as I've already stated, she will not be happy when I have to direct my attention to things other than her. I really need to have a more positive attitude today, but I just woke up kind of mad for some reason. I guess it'll get better. Delores is already up so I better go tend to her. 3 more days, hopefully!

Have a good Thursday!

what I'll miss about being pregnant...4 days to go!

Good morning! and it is an early morning here in the Lewis house. Delores got up hurting and wanting a bottle at 6:30 so I just stayed up. I hope this doesn't wear me out today, but I'm in a good mood so I'm staying hopeful.

Yesterday went pretty well with the exception of Delores's naps. She has been doing really well with her naps for a while. Two naps a day for at least an hour. Sometimes and hour and a half. Yesterday I don't know what happened. Her two naps were 30 minutes long a piece. This really threw me off. Normally this would be a whole lot more upsetting, but since I've cut down on the stuff I do around the house due to my ability to do it, it only bothered me because I wanted to rest. I have a rule though. She stays in bed during naps for an hour and she stays in bed in the morning until 8:00 even if she isn't sleeping. It doesn't hurt her and it teaches her to follow expectations.

My appointment went great. She said the baby was in perfect position, the head was low, I was measuring 39 cm so she should be around 8 pounds. Everything was good and she expects we will be having this baby this weekend or the first of the week. Woo hoo! I have not had any significant symptoms yet, but I am staying hopeful that we will have a new baby by Tuesday at the latest.

Some things I've been trying to think of to help me get through the last few days are what I'm going to miss about being pregnant. I'm gonna miss:
--feeling her move inside of me
--not having a period
--bigger boobs without leaking
--being able to sit food on top of my belly for my own personal serving tray
--getting to wear whatever I want w/o makeup and not feeling frumpy
--the little sleep I do get is still more than when I will be up nursing a newborn
--having an excuse not to do certain household chores
--most people say "getting to eat whatever I want," but I am actually more health conscious when I'm pregnant and don't allow myself a lot of junk, fast food, or sweets. I will miss my cravings though. A lot of times I am indifferent about what I eat, but actually having a craving for something makes it easier to decide what I will eat.
--being the only person who can take care of her right now. I love the help, but when she's still inside of me it is just me and her and no one can take my place.

Well we have 4 days to go, so I'm gonna go ahead and get this day started. Tomorrow I am suppose to have a chiropractor appointment but I don't think I am going to go. It just hurt way too bad and Amy said there is really no need unless I'm just in pain and need it. It should be a pretty normal and routine rest of the week until little one gets here. Have a good Wednesday!

silly old wives...5 more days

Good Morning!  Yesterday was very tiring. I'm not exactly sure why except for that maybe it was just the pregnancy. My eye lids were so heavy all day. When Delores took her naps yesterday I just sat in the recliner with my eyes closed and couldn't get motivated to do anything. I did manage to do 2 loads of laundry and the dishes throughout the day, but I wasn't doing more than that. Josh was on call and didn't get home till about 7:30 so I had to put Delores to bed by myself for the first time in over a week and it was hard. I couldn't believe how much one week could make a difference. In fact I can't believe how a couple of days can make such a difference. Yesterday I could barely carry Delores or hold her without being in pain. That is the first time this pregnancy that I've had that problem. Thank God I made it this long without that problem though. I was so tired yesterday that I tried to put Delores to bed about 20 minutes early. That didn't really work. She just cried in her bed till her normal time she falls asleep around 6:45. I just couldn't do it anymore and while she was crying I had dinner and got ready for bed. I was laying in bed relaxing and watching Cars right after Josh got home from work.

Last night wasn't bad. Delores is still teething so she got up around 4:30 in pain ad wanting a bottle and to be cuddled and given some Tylenol. Josh was already up for work though so he took care of her. I got up with her during her normal time around 11:00 I think it was and she went right back to sleep.

Today I have my 39 week check up with my midwife, Amy. It should be pretty routine, but I am interested to see how much she has grown because it feels like she is huge now. She doesn't do cervical exams until you are actual in labor because she says you can walk around at 4 cm for weeks with nothing happening and it's an invasion of privacy, so there really is no need, because you can't tell anything from it anyway unless you are actually in labor. Which is fine for me because I love the anticipation and excitement of not knowing. My mom always asks if I am going to have a third trimester ultrasound to see how big the baby is, I guess to see what I'm up against, but I'd rather be surprised by the weight than know. Plus if I find out she's gonna be a 10 pounder like Josh was then I'd just be terrified and it would be really hard to be relaxed and confident that I could do it. That's just me though. There are so little surprises in the world and we already know the sex of the baby so I don't need to know anything else.

Andrea, Josh's sister, will be coming today to watch Delores while I'm out and maybe stay a little longer afterwards. I hope so anyways. I also have to make that hike through the hospital to pick up my prescriptions today too. That is going to kill me, but I have to do it. Who knows maybe it'll put me into labor, or just cripple me one. I really don't believe you can do anything to induce labor yourself. The baby will come when she's ready not when you've eaten a whole pineapple soaked in raspberry tea with a Castor oil chaser while you walk a mile after you have sex on a birthing ball with lots of nipple stimulation. lol. It's just silly to me. God will set it in motion when the time comes.

Anyway that is really all I have planned for today other than our normal routine. I'll update on the appointment tomorrow. 5 days to go!

6 more days

Yesterday was great. We had church and lunch and came home for Delores's nap. Josh got his truck unstuck and our new storage building is in place. The rest of the day we just played with Delores till it was time for her to go to bed. After that we went to work. I packed my bag for the birthing center. Josh cleaned and did things I just can't do any more. We moved the pack n play back into our room and set it up with the bouncey seat and the pack n play sheet, the changing table attachment and the cd player with the burnt cd. That's our little trick to get the babies to sleep good. A cd player under the beds with the sound of a washing machine going continuously. We figured that out after Delores had a rough night two days after she got home and we thought we were going to have to sleep in the laundry room. So everything is ready. Finally. I got to watch the second half of the superbowl till about 10 and then I was just too tired to stay up.

Last night was kind of rough too. Delores is probably definately teething and she got up at 2 throwing a fit. Josh had to give her a bottle, but I got to sleep a good bit so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Tonight I go on for two days, then Josh for two, and then me till wendnesday, unless the baby comes and then Josh is takeing a week off and he will be on until he goes back to work.

I slept late this morning so my brain did not start off on the right note. It's funny how use to something you can get in such a short amount of time. I feel like i'm in a fog now and my fingers won't even flow over the keys like normal. Huff. I guess I'll go do my normal stuff and try to wake up a little before Delores gets up from her nap.

Superbowl Sunday...1 week left

Yay! Superbowl Sunday. Since we've had Delores we haven't followed the games very closely. Usually we are busy cleaning on Sundays or Josh is on call and you can forget the game at 8:00. We are in bed before the first quarter is over. Having children makes you old whether you want to admit it or not. It's is just so much easier to accept your oldness and go with it than fight it.

Last night was great. Delores didn't get up at all until 6:00 and she had a bottle. I expected that though cause she wouldn't eat dinner last night before bed. I think she is cutting back teeth. She has all her usual teething symptoms, congestion, sneezing coughing, irritability, more cuddley than usual, but I can't see any white buds. At least she slept good though because after the night before last I needed a good night's sleep.

Yesterday was great too. We got our storage building in the backyard, we just can't get Josh's truck out of the yard. lol. It had been raining for 2 days and when the man is determined to get something done he will do it at all costs. So now his truck is stuck in our backyard and our yard is all torn up. I can't get mad though. He gave me the puppy dog eyes and I knew that he knew he kind of screwed up.

After that, and after Delores got up from her nap, we set off on our Saturday adventures. We went and had our taxes done first. Oh my goodness! We were there for an hour and a half and we got a women who had no idea what she was doing. Because I had worked there two years prior I was all over her. Bless her heart she had no idea what she was getting into when she took our folder. She put Delores's middle name as her first name (and didn't even spell it right), she put the wrong address in for one of Josh's W2s, she put student loan interest as education credit, and she claimed Josh's mileage from his last job as if he were self employed. Not to mention she just kept forgetting paper work and couldn't find our real estate tax on our mortgage paper. Not that it wasn't there, she just didn't know where to look. It's been two years, but I bet I could have sat in front of the computer and did them about an hour faster than she could have. The manager was so embarrassed that she waived the additional $42 the lady cost us from putting the information on the wrong page. Ugh. It was frustrating at the time, but it was pretty funny after we were done. I don't know how the women made it past the first day of training unless they were just desperate for employees this year. I know I shouldn't be saying all that about the poor women but maybe she just needs to learn she is just not cut out for taxes. Not everyone is perfect at everything.

After that we were starving and just stopped at McDonald's to eat and feed Delores. She is so funny. Delores doesn't like meat and does not like anything made with potatoes, but suddenly when mommy is eating it she loves it. She ate probably a third of my french fries, and two of my chicken nuggets. That is probably why I haven't gained hardly any weight this pregnancy because she keeps stealing my food. Lol, funny girl. After that she ate some strawberries I brought for her and we were off again. Next place was Wendy's because I gotta have my frosty fix. Then Garner's to pop in and get my vitamins. We skipped babies r us because Delores was getting sleepy and I couldn't really remember why I needed to stop there in the first place. The last place was Jc Penny to pick up our maternity pictures. They turned our pretty good. They always print extras and try to sell them to us and when we turn them down they get frustrated. Josh made a good point though. Why bother? They are just going to throw the pics away anyway so why do they bother wasting money and paper on the chance we may buy them. If we want more prints we know where to go. Sheesh. Anyway, after that we headed home. Delores fell asleep in the car so we hung out in the driveway until she got up. Then about an hour or two later Andrea showed up and we did bedtime and went to the melting pot.

If you have never been to the Melting Pot you need to go and get the 4 course meal. Oh my goodness! It was so so good. It was so laid back too. No rushing to get us out the door. Each course was so leisurely. We were there for 2 and a half hours. We had an interesting waiter who had to be a stoner. He said "awesome," so many times it got to be funny. He kept saying that he wanted to eat our food too. Lol, Josh joked that he probably had the munchies and was out back hitting a doobie in between our courses, Lol. I started playing a little game too. It was the "try to make it back from the bathroom before he brings the next course," game. I got up to pee 4 times while we were there. Oh and they sat us in one of those tiny two person booths so it was extra fun to try to get in and out. I got so many stares and from the vision in the bathroom's full length mirror I could understand why. I am huge! Lol. Anyway, when ever we go out we always get sat at one of those booths and we have come to the conclusion that they do this just to be funny. I am a 9 month pregnant women and Josh is a 6'7" man. How in the world are we suppose to fit in one of those booths comfortably? While next to us there are two skinny people sitting in a booth wraps around to easily fit 4 adult people. It's just getting ridiculous. The food was to die for though and you should definitely try it.

We came home exhausted from all our eating and we went straight to bed and it was a terrific Valentine's day. Nothing special, just fantastic food, with just me and Josh and great conversation. It was just what I needed and I was so glad to get it before this baby comes.

Speaking of which, I am now 39 weeks pregnant with one week to go.

Wish me luck with this last week!

Church today, cleaning, and the Superbowl. Hopefully some relaxing and some cuddle time with the hubby. Oh and probably get the truck out of the yard so Josh can go to work tomorrow. Lol. Have a great Sunday!

Saturday part 2

Last night Delores slept great. She got up at 9 and 12 and I haven't heard another peep out of her all night. So no bottle, yay! I, on the other hand, did not fall asleep until 1:00 and popped up wide awake at 6:30. I also got up a couple of times to pee and to kick Ava's kennel because she woke me up whining because it was thundering outside. It had to have been the allergy medication. When I do fall asleep normally I sleep pretty hard and sleep in a little later. Not today. My tiredness will probably hit me around dinner when it starts to wear off. I guess I'll take advantage of this time and get a shower before anyone else gets up.

Blog ya later. lol

Technically Saturday...8 days left

Well, after all the posting I've done about being sleep deprived, I cannot fall asleep.  I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe I'm too excited about spending the day with Josh tomorrow. Maybe I'm getting too eager about this baby coming. Or maybe it's the half of an allergy pill I took to help get rid of this headache. I don't know, but I've been laying in bed for about 2 and a half hours trying to go to sleep and nothing is happening. And bless my dear hubby's heart, but he started snoring and I just can't sleep through that. I could sleep though the sound of a chain saw running before I can sleep through my husband's snoring. It didn't use to be like that, but I am such a light sleeper in this pregnancy that we can't even sleep in the same room right now. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think he would say the same thing, so don't bash me for talking about him behind his back. He will admit it in a heartbeat.

This is a little off topic, but why in the world are commercials choosing ugly people for their casting? It irritates me. I guess they are trying to relate more to the general public, but some of those people are just really ugly. Like the people on the Hillshire Farms commercials (and no, I'm not talking about the kids). Those people look like they've been pulled out of a homeless shelter and put in their commercial. Sorry I was just wondering what's up with that.

So today went pretty good. Still felt pretty uncomfortable and today I felt nauseous and got a headache. I tried to lay down on the couch, then in bed, then in the recliner, and then back on the couch with no success of a nap or comfort. But I did enjoy my relax time so it wasn't pointless. Oh but Josh did surprise me with some pickles from the pita house. The best when you are pregnant. I love em anyway, but you just can't beat homemade pickles when you have that craving. The only thing that would have made it better is a frosty. Pickles and ice cream. So cliche, but so good. I love him for that.

Tomorrow (or today really) Josh and I are having our Valentine's day early because the baby is suppose to arrive Valentine day weekend and he's on call that weekend. We have nothing really planned for the day, but tomorrow night we are going to the melting pot for dinner. We wanted to go see a play or a concert or something, but the only thing going on is the circus and that's just not very romantic. So I think we are just gonna go window shopping at the mall and plan for things to buy each other when we have expendable income, AKA tax money. I know that's bad, but let's face it, Josh is the only one bringing in money to a family of four, and we are paying our bills on time all year long. We don't really allow ourselves to splurge on anything, so when we get our tax money we feel more comfortable with buying unnecessary items.

Also tomorrow we have to do our normal Saturday running around after Josh drops our new storage building in the back yard. So we have to go to Garner's for prenatal vitamins, babies r us for some last minute stuff, the mall to pick up maternity pics, M&M tax to get our taxes done, and somewhere in there we will have lunch and Delores will take a nap in the car. Then maybe we will come home in time to get decent looking for dinner. If not we will just come home, do bed time, and leave.

So we have now officially 8 days left to this pregnancy thing and I'm starting to get scared. I don't know how I'll handle being a mom of two. How do I take care of a 1 year old and a newborn at the same time? I don't know. I can't even fathom how I am going to tackle this task. If I wasn't so uncomfortable and in so much pain I'd say she could gladly hang out in there for a few more weeks. I guess everything happens for a reason and God wouldn't give me a task I couldn't handle. That whole staying positive thing will just have to kick in overtime and I may have to start taking my antidepressants again, but I'm sure I can make it. Maybe.

Well have a good Saturday!

finally friday...9 days left

Morning! It was so hard to get motivated this morning. It is rainy out side and dark and it is a friday. By this time, as mentioned before, I'm just not into doing the same old same old.

Last night was better than the night before, but not much better. Delores got up 3 times and the extra pacis in her bed did not help. Maybe if she was confident that I would be coming in after her it would work, but she knows Josh's "week," has started and she has started standing up in her crib wanting to be picked up instead of just sitting there waiting for her paci to magically pop into her mouth. Josh had to give her a bottle at 5:30. I just don't get that. When she knows it's my week she will sleep through the night and not even want a bottle when she gets up at 8. Suddenly when daddy takes over she will put up a fight to get one. Odd how children work with different people. Of course I got up 2 of those three time because I'm just programed to do that and Josh is still getting use to it. Sometimes it is just easier for me to do it myself. Which is probably not a good thing cause she's gonna have a hard time getting use to Josh going in there if I do, but I really just want to sleep and I know she will go right back to sleep if I go in there. At this point what is best in the long term is taken over by the fact that I am so exhausted.

Yesterday was pretty good. Delores made up for her fit she threw the night before by sleeping till 9:30. It didn't throw her day off too bad. She just didn't have her second nap. I still laid her down and let her play in her crib for about an hour while I got some stuff done, but she never did go to sleep. Andrea stayed till 3:00, so that was a big help. My chiropractor's appointment was not fun. It hurt so bad. I guess because my bones are so soft now in preparation for the baby. I didn't have any pain after the adjustment but oh my goodness it was taking my breath away and making me sweat. I would have cried if he was someone I was close to but I just don't do that. He made one last (hopefully) appointment for next thursday and I am not looking forward to that. I may actually cancel depending on how much pain I am in anyway that day.

Last night around 5:00 I started having interesting BH contractions. They were very low and very painful. They didn't really remind me of real contractions, but they were different from the false contractions I had been having. So I assumed we were probably in labor. They were about 7 minutes apart for about 2 hours, but I am a firm believer in being 100% sure before I notified anyone or called my midwife (Amy). So, with Josh's help, I got up and did our bedtime routine, ate dinner, and went and laid down. They were still there but they had tapered off to very irregular times. So about 9:00 I told Josh that they were just too far apart to do anything about it so I was gonna go to sleep and if they became more regular I would wake him up. They never did and here I am. Another day of painful disappointment has come and I am beginning to feel she will never be here. Of course she will in her and God's own time, and every pregnant women feels like that, but my belly feels like it is gonna burst from the inside out like the old Alien video. Lol.

Today my wonderful FIL is going to come get Delores to play with her for a little while and let me get some rest. I have mentioned this before, but this is bittersweet. I know she is going to miss her second nap, which means she will sleep horribly, which means that I will sleep horribly, which defeats the purpose of her going to get more rest in the first place. Lol, but they are like best friends and I'd rather her get out of the house and have some fun with her favorite person and give me some time alone than keep her here and wear me out.

Well I hear Delores talking to me through the baby monitor so I better go get her and start our day. Just one more day till I get to spend some quality time with Josh and one day closer till our due date. 9 more days!

Thursday and 10 days to go

Well last night was no fun. Josh and I rotate days on when he gets up with Delores at night. We just started doing this recently because I started thinking that "I'm not going to be able to do this with 2 kids." So the days that he isn't on call, minus the day after he gets off call, he is on night duty. It equals out to about 7 days on for him and 8 days on for me during a 2 week period. We have done this 3 times, so 6 weeks, and it has been horrible every time he goes on. She just assumes I'm gonna be the one to come in and rescue her in the middle of the night and when it isn't me she throws a fit. So last night she got up close to around 10:00 and josh went and laid her down. She cried a little and went back to sleep. At 4:00 she knew what was coming and it did not make her happy. Josh went in, tried to lay her down, and she screamed bloody murder. He went to make a bottle and I got up to see what time it was. When I saw it was 4 I thought maybe I'll just go in and she'll be calmed by me. Well she didn't want to let me go. When I tried to lay her down she just screamed harder. So Josh brought me a bottle and I gave it to her, laid her down, and tried to go back to sleep. After about an hour, and just when I was about to doze off again, she started screaming again. This time we just ignored her. She cried I guess for about 20 minutes then finally went to sleep. Poor josh had to get up for the day and I went back to sleep for about 2 hours. It is so frustrating because I know I can't get up with her when we have the new baby. I will be breastfeeding and it will be every two hours for the first month or so. Delores won't cooperate for josh and I can't sleep through her cries even if I'm in another room with the door shut. I told Josh last night "what did I get myself into?" Because seriously I feel like I am never gonna sleep again. Today I'm gonna throw all of her pacis in her crib and hope she can take care of herself during the night.

Yesterday, was very tiring. For some reason Delores just wore me out. Nothing was different about our day. I just don't have to energy to keep up with her anymore I guess.

Today I have a chiropractor appointment at 10:45. It has been about 2 weeks since I went last and I am really looking forward to it. I feel so much better after the appointment. I just love to have all my bones popped and put back in place.

The rest of the day will be pretty ordinary I guess. Andrea, Josh's sister, will be coming to watch Delores during my appointment, and probably staying until her second nap. So I'll have some company today. I start to feel really negative towards the end of the week because I am so tired of doing to same old thing. Day in and day out with Delores. I don't normally have outside adult contact and I don't get to go anywhere during the week. So by friday I am stir crazy, ready to get out of the house, and ready for some adult conversion. I'll be honest, I don't get kids, and before I had one, was not good with them. I do feel like a career mom and not a stay at home mom, so not being able to work for this long plus longer after the birth, has really taken it out of me. But I am trying to stay positive and just keep saying that it is almost over and in about 3 months I will be able to get a job (hopefully, if I can find a job). It will go by fast once the baby gets here. Right now I'm just in a rut. I hope just 10 more days to go now!

Have a great Thursday!

Wednesday and 11 days

Well here we are at hump day. I feel like sometimes I'll never make it this far, but then I always do and I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm pretty proud of myself this week. I have gotten up before Delores to have some me time everyday and done this blog. I can tell how much it has made a difference too. I am not a morning person and I would rather sleep in, but being able to get up and motivated and not have to stress has really put a positive spin on my day (for the most part).

Yesterday, as I mentioned, I had my 38 week check up but before that I had to make a trip to Walmart. I swear that place is the devil. It appears as if it is an awesome place because they have everything at really low prices, but that is just to suck you in and then torture you while you are there. It took me 2 hours to buy groceries and I spent almost $200 on just the necessities and I felt like I had been hit by a truck after I was done. It made me 20 mins late to my midwife appointment because no matter how hard you try you just cannot get out of Walmart in a timely manner. I hate Walmart! But what am I suppose to do, they have the cheapest prices and they have everything and we have to eat. Maybe that will be my 3rd goal; Find and alternative to Walmart. Anyone have any suggestion please let me know. On a lighter note I did get all the stuff for my birth and for the baby. So no more stressing out that the baby is gonna come and I won't be ready.

My actual appointment went good. I was Strep B negative. Hemoglobin good. Perfect blood pressure. Perfect urine. Fundal height at 35 cm because the baby has dropped and some news that she will probably be bigger than Delores and we are shooting for the earliest due date, the 13th. At one time my due date was any where from the 13th to the 20th, so I am glad she will be here very soon. Eleven days as a matter of fact. Oh my goodness when I say it like that reality really sinks in.

The rest of yesterday was pretty normal except for being stressed about running late and not being able to drop my prescriptions off at the hospital and pick them up after I was done with my appointment. It worked out though because the said they couldn't get fill them till tomorrow (today) anyway because they would have to order them from the L&D floor. Amy (my midwife) said she had a ton of extras too, so if I deliver before I pick up the prescriptions it will be okay. After all that I was in a ton of pain and thought "surely if this baby is ready to come it will be here tonight." But, alas, no labor. Just some painful, and now annoying, BH.

Have a great hump day and groundhogs day (anyone know what happen with that little guy this morning? i don't watch the news [different blog on that another day]).

tuesday and one day closer

Morning! Josh is officially off call tonight after 4 long days and I am very excited about that. I know it is part of his job, but it is the most difficult test God has put me through in a long time. The loneliness and stressfulness of pretty much being a single mom for a half of a week and then going back to normal is intense. You never really can get use to it because it is always changing.

Yesterday was pretty normal. The only thing exciting to note is that I got Delores to eat broccoli. This is a big step for us because my very picky eater will only eat carrots, peas, and corn since she started eating finger food. You other moms gets it. I don't have to explain it to you.

Today I have my 38 week check up and it will probably be a busy day. I have a lot to do on days that people can watch Delores for me. Especially since the baby is coming. Because I am have the birth at a birthing center I have to get certain prescriptions filled for after delivery at the hospital. I have to get certain birthing supplies and certain things for the baby to use in the delivery also. I so don't mind, but it just takes time. I've had the prescriptions for a few weeks and haven't been able to make it to the hospital and it freaks me out because at this point I could really go into labor any time and I wouldn't have those things. I'm just glad I made it till today. After today this baby can come sooner than later. Ha Ha.

Everyday gets a little harder to carry my belly around. I've notice 5 new very small stretch marks on the underside of my belly because of how low she is carrying. And even though I am going to the chiropractor and doing some prenatal yoga, the pressure she is putting on my hips is really starting to cause excruciating pain. I can't imagine going on like this for 1 week 5 days, but I guess if I have to I will.

Well Delores has gotten up early so I need to go get her and start our day before she gets impatient and throws a fit. lol. Have a great Tuesday!