finally friday...9 days left

Morning! It was so hard to get motivated this morning. It is rainy out side and dark and it is a friday. By this time, as mentioned before, I'm just not into doing the same old same old.

Last night was better than the night before, but not much better. Delores got up 3 times and the extra pacis in her bed did not help. Maybe if she was confident that I would be coming in after her it would work, but she knows Josh's "week," has started and she has started standing up in her crib wanting to be picked up instead of just sitting there waiting for her paci to magically pop into her mouth. Josh had to give her a bottle at 5:30. I just don't get that. When she knows it's my week she will sleep through the night and not even want a bottle when she gets up at 8. Suddenly when daddy takes over she will put up a fight to get one. Odd how children work with different people. Of course I got up 2 of those three time because I'm just programed to do that and Josh is still getting use to it. Sometimes it is just easier for me to do it myself. Which is probably not a good thing cause she's gonna have a hard time getting use to Josh going in there if I do, but I really just want to sleep and I know she will go right back to sleep if I go in there. At this point what is best in the long term is taken over by the fact that I am so exhausted.

Yesterday was pretty good. Delores made up for her fit she threw the night before by sleeping till 9:30. It didn't throw her day off too bad. She just didn't have her second nap. I still laid her down and let her play in her crib for about an hour while I got some stuff done, but she never did go to sleep. Andrea stayed till 3:00, so that was a big help. My chiropractor's appointment was not fun. It hurt so bad. I guess because my bones are so soft now in preparation for the baby. I didn't have any pain after the adjustment but oh my goodness it was taking my breath away and making me sweat. I would have cried if he was someone I was close to but I just don't do that. He made one last (hopefully) appointment for next thursday and I am not looking forward to that. I may actually cancel depending on how much pain I am in anyway that day.

Last night around 5:00 I started having interesting BH contractions. They were very low and very painful. They didn't really remind me of real contractions, but they were different from the false contractions I had been having. So I assumed we were probably in labor. They were about 7 minutes apart for about 2 hours, but I am a firm believer in being 100% sure before I notified anyone or called my midwife (Amy). So, with Josh's help, I got up and did our bedtime routine, ate dinner, and went and laid down. They were still there but they had tapered off to very irregular times. So about 9:00 I told Josh that they were just too far apart to do anything about it so I was gonna go to sleep and if they became more regular I would wake him up. They never did and here I am. Another day of painful disappointment has come and I am beginning to feel she will never be here. Of course she will in her and God's own time, and every pregnant women feels like that, but my belly feels like it is gonna burst from the inside out like the old Alien video. Lol.

Today my wonderful FIL is going to come get Delores to play with her for a little while and let me get some rest. I have mentioned this before, but this is bittersweet. I know she is going to miss her second nap, which means she will sleep horribly, which means that I will sleep horribly, which defeats the purpose of her going to get more rest in the first place. Lol, but they are like best friends and I'd rather her get out of the house and have some fun with her favorite person and give me some time alone than keep her here and wear me out.

Well I hear Delores talking to me through the baby monitor so I better go get her and start our day. Just one more day till I get to spend some quality time with Josh and one day closer till our due date. 9 more days!

Thursday and 10 days to go

Well last night was no fun. Josh and I rotate days on when he gets up with Delores at night. We just started doing this recently because I started thinking that "I'm not going to be able to do this with 2 kids." So the days that he isn't on call, minus the day after he gets off call, he is on night duty. It equals out to about 7 days on for him and 8 days on for me during a 2 week period. We have done this 3 times, so 6 weeks, and it has been horrible every time he goes on. She just assumes I'm gonna be the one to come in and rescue her in the middle of the night and when it isn't me she throws a fit. So last night she got up close to around 10:00 and josh went and laid her down. She cried a little and went back to sleep. At 4:00 she knew what was coming and it did not make her happy. Josh went in, tried to lay her down, and she screamed bloody murder. He went to make a bottle and I got up to see what time it was. When I saw it was 4 I thought maybe I'll just go in and she'll be calmed by me. Well she didn't want to let me go. When I tried to lay her down she just screamed harder. So Josh brought me a bottle and I gave it to her, laid her down, and tried to go back to sleep. After about an hour, and just when I was about to doze off again, she started screaming again. This time we just ignored her. She cried I guess for about 20 minutes then finally went to sleep. Poor josh had to get up for the day and I went back to sleep for about 2 hours. It is so frustrating because I know I can't get up with her when we have the new baby. I will be breastfeeding and it will be every two hours for the first month or so. Delores won't cooperate for josh and I can't sleep through her cries even if I'm in another room with the door shut. I told Josh last night "what did I get myself into?" Because seriously I feel like I am never gonna sleep again. Today I'm gonna throw all of her pacis in her crib and hope she can take care of herself during the night.

Yesterday, was very tiring. For some reason Delores just wore me out. Nothing was different about our day. I just don't have to energy to keep up with her anymore I guess.

Today I have a chiropractor appointment at 10:45. It has been about 2 weeks since I went last and I am really looking forward to it. I feel so much better after the appointment. I just love to have all my bones popped and put back in place.

The rest of the day will be pretty ordinary I guess. Andrea, Josh's sister, will be coming to watch Delores during my appointment, and probably staying until her second nap. So I'll have some company today. I start to feel really negative towards the end of the week because I am so tired of doing to same old thing. Day in and day out with Delores. I don't normally have outside adult contact and I don't get to go anywhere during the week. So by friday I am stir crazy, ready to get out of the house, and ready for some adult conversion. I'll be honest, I don't get kids, and before I had one, was not good with them. I do feel like a career mom and not a stay at home mom, so not being able to work for this long plus longer after the birth, has really taken it out of me. But I am trying to stay positive and just keep saying that it is almost over and in about 3 months I will be able to get a job (hopefully, if I can find a job). It will go by fast once the baby gets here. Right now I'm just in a rut. I hope just 10 more days to go now!

Have a great Thursday!