Little confessions

I don’t really believe in New Years resolutions. I get why people do them but, personally, I’ve never really seen a point in setting goals I know I’m not going to reach and then getting all depressed at myself when the next New Year rolls around again and I haven’t accomplished anything. God’s got this. Why do I need to plan anything?

Also, it really bothers me when society or the world says I just gotta do something like the end of the world is gonna come if I don’t. If I’m going to make a goal or resolution it’s going to be because it is something I really want to happen in my life and I’m not going to wait around till January 1st to get going on it.

Despite my attempt to go against the grain I was reminded that, apparently it is important for people to have goals. Something to keep them going and to strive for so they don’t get sucked into the same old, same old and then snap and throw themselves off the top of their office building. Or in my case off the roof of my house as you may have noticed I definitely have felt like doing lately. Okay, so maybe not everyone would turn out that way, but you get the picture.

So, I decided I should attempt this resolution thing, even if I am getting a late start, in hopes that setting some goals would give me the drive to get off my pity pot, explore different things, rediscover myself and find happiness from within.

Of course I couldn’t just go about this all willy nilly so I did a little research. There are several different theories of goals. Most encompass 3 different areas. Long term, medium term and short term. To break each area down even further there are 7 to 8 different types of goals a person can set. After reviewing several different theories I picked one that most applied to my situation and to me.

There is a metaphor describing that these areas in which we set goals need to be balanced as if it were a wheel. If one of these areas is forgotten about the wheel has a bend in it and rides bumpy. If there are several areas that are not dealt with the wheel goes flat and it won’t go anywhere at all or we end up in a wreck. These & areas are as follows: Health, Finances, Career, Physical Surroundings, Relationships, Fun and Hobbies, Time Alone and Personal Growth.

But before I could dive right in and starting setting goals I feel that I have to confess some things about myself so that you can fully understand the depth of my goals. Here are just 10 of my dirty little secrets, for God knows you couldn’t handle them all.

1. I have no friends that I hang out with except for my mom. (Relationships)

2. I feel like there is a deeply artistic person inside of me screaming to come out. I feel like a need to write some poetry, make an independent film, paint some abstract art or just let my emotions go. It has been so hard for me to just be free with my artistic side when my Type A side says everything has to be so structured and done a certain way. (Personal Growth)

3. I feel guilty over any fraction of time or money I spend on myself. Whenever I do anything for myself I have to talk to Josh about it over and over again for a whole day before I feel slightly better about it. (Finances)

4. I am an emotional wreck and in constant pain. Three weeks out of a month I have to force myself to do daily tasks and put on a happy face. What I’d really like to do is curl up in my bed and eat chocolate all day. (Health)

5. I do not like being a stay at home mom. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had. But I’d rather be working for people I love for a worthy cause than a bunch of people I don’t care about for something I don’t believe in. (Career)

6. I like being a teacher. About the only thing that gets me through my day is our homeschooling. I look forward to teaching and enriching their lives and I really have considered going back to school to be a teacher of some sort. Josh says I couldn’t handle it however, so dream shot down there. That’s what I get for marrying a teacher’s son. (Career)

7. I like to preach. Be it to my husband, my kids, my relatives, strangers, Josh’s co-workers (oh yes, I did), etc. Naturally, I have a very preachy tone and volume, which can be misunderstood as a know-it-all tone. But I promise if you are the butt of my preaching it means that I love you enough to be passionately concerned about your circumstance. (Personal growth & relationships)

8. I used to enjoy hiking and camping and getting out into nature. Something I haven’t done much of since I met Josh because I’ve been so wrapped up in other things. (Food & Hobbies)

9. I love and think I have a real knack for interior design. However, coming into my house you wouldn’t know that because I have kids and I can’t have anything nice without it getting messed up. Also I have a lack of funds to make my home picturesque. (Physical surroundings)

10. I have no idea how to take time for myself. At this point my self-time consists of drinking hot tea and watching cooking shows and the Big Bang Theory. Also, I do not have cable or DVR so my self-time has to be strategically planned to enjoy these things otherwise I spend this time cleaning, cooking and doing laundry. (Alone Time)

Now that you have seen some of the areas I believe I need to modify I hope you will better understand the goals I set whenever I get around to it.

So stay tuned to see what I'll try next to get me out of my funk.